Kudos to Kashi - NOT

Not everything in this blog will be about my health or lack thereof. Some of it will be just to get it Off My Chest.

I saw a notice in the grocery store the other day posted by Kashi. It was an apology and an explanation to their customers. The notice explained that they had discovered that some of the suppliers from whom they bought ingredients for their products were using GMOs. Therefore, they were pulling the effected products from the shelves until they could solve this horrible problem. I thought, “KUDOS TO KASHI! What a responsible thing to do!” Instead of being caught out like some wretchedly self-interested, dirty, money grubbing politician, they said “There is a problem here. We are accepting full responsibility for it, informing you of it, and pulling the product from the shelves to protect you from this low down sneaky supplier.”

All of this was an affirmation that I was buying products from a company that was one of the few “good guys” left. I had been persuaded by their commercials that they really did go to the ends of the earth to find delicious AND healthy ingredients that they would caringly make into food for me and my family. I, like a huge number of other people, willingly paid a good deal more for Kashi products, based on the idea that their products were a better tasting organic choice than other companies offered. I believed that I could have a serving of convenience with my organic food. They had dozens of tasty looking products that were no trouble to make  and a great healthy choice.

After seeing this communique, I went out of my way to pick up a few other Kashi products, both to reward them for their good behavior and to help sustain them through, what I thought would be tough times - because they took the high road. Since then, they have, without any changes, put the same product back on the shelves. They posted a video on social media “starring” some lady who was obviously and poorly reading from cue cards. The boiled down version is that they have some foods that are organic and GMO free and the rest are not. The consumer comments in response to that, showed very clearly, that those who viewed it were something less than placated. They then had their GM do a video. His performance seemed to be just that, a performance. While wearing a giant phony smile, he sniveled about there not being enough organic foods available for them to buy so they had to resort to non-organic and GMO ingredients, and that things would be better by 2014. There was some sanctimonious protesting that every product was well within USDA guidelines. USDA guidelines?! Oh, well I feel much safer now… We all totally trust our government these days, right?

Millions of us switched to organic foods because we didn’t trust the food supply regulated by the USDA in the first place. It had become corrupted by too many ingredients we couldn’t pronounce. Too many things sounded like a laboratory experiment rather than a farm harvest. Some sounded like they didn’t even come from this planet. The companies that made these products had become an invisible they, not someone we knew and trusted so we started buying from the little upstarts that had a new idea. The new idea was to go back to the old ideas – back to the basics of our great grandparents. Kashi was one of these companies. It seems, however that they have fallen away from the original mission. When Kashi published these videos, they accomplished exactly the opposite of their intended goal. They shone a spot light on a company that seemed far more interested in ass-covering than anything else. They became, through their own actions, a corporation to whom we were dollar signs rather than people. Kashi has become the Tiger Woods of the organic market. Because they portrayed themselves as the “Good Guys” that we could all look up to and trust, when they failed us, the backlash was instant and is becoming monumental. It seems they have fallen – far and hard. It will be interesting to see what happens next. I, for one, will be buying someone else’s Seven Whole Grains because I no longer believe them true to their mission.

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Day of reckoning

So when we were both up and getting ready to face the day and he said, “Honey, I think you have a lump in your right breast. I felt it last night.”

 Just like that my whole world changed. Forever and irrevocably, my everything was changed by those (oh, hang on a second, have to count them, ok 15, the count is 15)  15 words. For a split second I just stood there and breathed and then I quickly told him that it must be my glands. They swell and recede like the tides with my cycle and because I am not overly endowed it's pretty noticeable. Somewhere deep inside though, I knew differently. He accepted my hopeful explanation, kissed me goodbye, and left for work. I took a shower, felt around half-heartedly and haphazardly, found the lump, told myself "that of course it’s glands" and got on with my day.

 I have absolutely no idea what I did that day, or the next or even the next for that matter. I can tell you that I kept checking... and that lump went nowhere. It stuck around like the old acquaintance from college that just comes to stay "for a couple of weeks till they get on their feet” and then doesn’t leave. They stay for a long time. Until you ask for some money. Then they find some other softhearted idiot to leach off of and go away muttering indignantly.

 A couple of weeks of this and even an ostrich would have known that it was indeed a lump that was indeed going nowhere. No matter how many times I checked, the damn thing was still there. I actually talked to myself out loud in the shower. “You have to face this. This is real. You have to do something about this, you big coward.”

 I have always talked to myself. Even as a child I would walk into a room and then have no idea what I went in there to do/get/see. Alzheimer's, if I should develop it, will be familiar ground, I tell you. So I learned to "speak the mission out loud" to have a better shot at remembering it. I regarded people that had the same pencil in school for two days running with awe. I could barely keep track of me, never mind possessions. I discussed this habit of talking to myself with myself and concluded after a spirited debate the following:  Talking to myself is ok. Even arguing with myself is ok - unless I lose the argument. If I can't even convince me of my point of view, well then there is no hope for me. 

 I gave myself two days to “deal” and got on the phone looking for help and answers. I told no one. I did not cry.

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Hello Blog World Redux

I am writing this blog both as an outlet for myself and to help other people better understand what it is like to have been diagnosed with and then fight cancer. You can ask me pretty much ANYTHING and I'll answer very honestly as best I can. Parts of this journey have been surprisingly funny and some, well, not so much, as you might imagine. Because I am a real person, some of this will be graphic and the language uncensored. You might notice that there are no apologies for this. 

I am NOT writing this to elicit sympathy or because I want links to some miracle cure. I have an FB Friend who is a Mammography Tech who told me that almost ALL of her patients get checked ONLY because they know someone with breast cancer. That is a huge part of why I went not just public, but loudly public with this. Self-exams are good (they can be really good if you have a lover to help) and regular checkups, better. Go get checked out - and bring a friend. It could save two lives. My boyfriend finding the lump and then me DOING something about it is what will have saved my life. That, and being crazy enough to join the US Army when I was twenty five and getting caught up in a war.

 So here is a little bit about me. I have been told (by my mother) that if no one were around, I would talk to a tree. Eventually ... it would talk back. So, I should be able to manage this blogging business without too much difficulty. I would like to thank Spell Check in advance for helping me to avoid looking like an idiot... or at the very least, a bad speller.

I am a professional makeup artist because the world has spent most of your life telling you what is wrong with you. I want to show you what is wonderful about you. I love Mary Kay products, so those are the ones I use. There is nothing I can do for mean people, however.

I have been rollerblading for about 14 years and it makes me feel joyous. When I am healthy enough I skate 7 ½ to 11 miles almost daily. The music play list I listen to while I’m skating makes me look as if I have multiple personalities. So does my book shelf.  That works for me. I can blame any mistakes on one of them.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2012. I have been very busy kicking it’s ass since then.

Love the usual stuff, family, boyfriend, dog, work, shoes. Which order those fall in depends on what has happened that particular day. Except for shoes... I am never annoyed with my shoes.

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